


Classic Literature

by Fox_Salz



Series: Quashir Shenanigans [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M, Trans Julian Bashir, fake ferengi smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7022548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Quark/Bashir relationship is still going strong! Much to Miles and Garak and even Odo’s dismay. Maybe someone is setting something into motion, though, and maybe Quark has some filthy literary preferences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Classic Literature

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe there’s more?

Currently Julian and Quark were on the other side of the bar deep in hushed conversation. Every now and then Julian would laugh at something undoubtedly witty. For a ferengi.

Perhaps Garak was just a tad bitter.

Anyone would be, in his position. A month now of  _this_. Watching the couple share kisses and lunches, listening to his doctor gush about the ferengi whenever Julian and he saw each other—which was becoming quite infrequent.

It was enough to drive a simple tailor to something devious.

Oh! And now Quark’s filthy ferengi fingers were caressing his doctor’s hand.

_Wonderful_.

“They’re so sweet together,” Leeta sighed.

Garak cast her a dark glance. She didn’t notice.

“It’s strange, but somehow they make a good couple,” the woman continued.

“Both brothers do have a way of finding themselves in all sorts of interesting relationships,” Garak agreed in faux amiability.

Leeta placed a hand on Garak’s upper arm and turned to him with sympathy in her eyes. “I know it must be rough for you, Garak. But at least you still have Julian as a friend.”

Taken aback Garak could only stare at Leeta. Thankfully Rom came by at that moment, diverting her attention away from him.

“Oh, Rommie!” Leeta embraced her husband and kissed the side of his ear. “I was just talking to Garak about your brother. I think the only couple cuter is us. But they’re a close second.”

“They’re, uh, surprising. Quark’s been reading a lot of human books that doctor Bashir gave him.”

Now that was just crossing a line!

Garak kept his demeanor as calm as possible. He smiled at Rom and commented, “It sounds like the next step is Julian meeting yours and Quark’s mother.”

Rom looked like the thought had never occurred to him.

“Do you think they’re serious enough for that?” Leeta wondered.

“Um, I think this is the most serious relationship Quark’s ever been in.”

What a  _shock_.

“So your mother doesn’t even know about them?” Garak pried.

“Nope.”

Before Garak could say anything Leeta took the words right out of his mouth.

“You know, that’s such a shame. I bet she’d love to hear about Quark and Julian.”

“Mothers do worry about their children’s happiness.”

“You should talk to Quark about telling her.”

“Me?”

“Yes, Rom!” Leeta’s eyes twinkled. “She’d be so happy.”

“I don’t think Quark would want to tell her.”

“Well, then maybe we should surprise her.” Rom had a true look of terror on his face.

“Mothers do love surprises when it deals with matters of the heart,” Garak said.  
  
“Come on, Rom, this is a great idea. I never told you, but her and I have talked before about Quark.”

“About Quark?” Leeta nodded solemnly.

“She’s worried he’ll never find someone who can put up with him.”

Wise woman.

“Leeta, I don’t know…” Rom started. But then he looked into her eyes and decided, “Alright, if moogie’s that worried.”

“Oh, thank you, Rommie!” Leeta threw her arms around him. “This is great! We’ll see you later, Garak. We need to get ahold of Moogie.”  
  
Garak waved them off. He stood there a moment watching them disappear, triumphant smile plastered on is face.

“They seemed rather happy.”

Only his extensive training kept Garak from jumping. He turned to Julian who had snuck up behind him.

“Ah, well, young love.”

Julian grinned and said, “I know the feeling.”

Part of Garak wanted to go over to the bar and wring that ferengi’s neck. Instead Garak asked, “Starting the day with some light reading, Doctor?”

Julian fiddled with the padd in his hands. “Oh, uh, just some ferengi literature Quark lent me. He said it was good. I suppose we’ll see.”

“Hm. I can only imagine what happens in ferengi classics.”

“Yes. We’ll I’ve got to get going. Have a good day, Garak.”

——

Julian left Garak quickly, afraid his friend might somehow figure out that he was holding ferengi smut. Well, Quark called it “classic ferengi erotica” but Julian called it “smutty capitalism”.

At least now he could toss this in his quarters before anyone—

“Julian!”

“Good morning, Jadzia. Chief.”

“Reading anything good?” the woman asked, pointing at the padd. Julian shifted uncomfortably.  
  
“Oh, just some ferengi literature.”

Miles held up a hand. “Say no more. I don’t want to know what ferengi books are like.”

Ah, small miracles.

“So, how are, uh, you two doing?”

Before either could answer Keiko called out and joined them.

“Glad I caught up with you, Miles. You forgot this. She handed him a few padds.

“My reports! What would I do without you, Keiko?”

“Starve to death, talk to yourself out of loneliness mostly,” she mused as he kissed her cheek. “Oh, Julian. How are  _things_?”

Both women were giving him twin looks that made Julian unsure how to answer.

“Just fine, thank you. And how are you? Did you like that wine Quark and I sent you?”

Keiko smacked O’Brien’s arm. “You didn’t say it was from both of them!”

“Ow!” O’Brien rubbed his arm defensively. “I thought it was implied.”

“It was such a thoughtful gift, thank you, Julian. And thank Quark—“ she shot her husband a glare before beaming at Julian, “for both of us. In fact, one of these nights we should have a double date!”

“We should?” O’Brien whispered.

“Oh! Well, I’m sure he’d be delighted, Keiko. I know I would.” Oh and there was more guilt.

“Wonderful! You should come too, Dax.”

“But I’m not dating anyone.”  
  
“Have you ever looked in a mirror? We can change that in one day,” Keiko told her. Jadzia smiled bashfully. Keiko grabbed her arm and started leading her away saying, “Just tell me what preferences you have. Human? Bajoran? Major Kira?”

Julian chuckled and turned to Miles who was shaking his head good-naturedly. 

“Get Keiko on something and she doesn’t stop.”

“She’s a very determined woman.”

“She just loves setting people up. When you break things off with Quark she’ll be finding you someone new in no time.”

Eyes widening Julian asked, “What do you mean by that?”

“Oh come on, Julian. It’s Quark we’re talking about.”

Bristling Julian said, “I  _don’t_  know what you mean.”

“I mean…” Miles took a deep breath. “Look, I’m just saying that it’s destined to end one way or another. Face it, you don’t have a good track record and Quark is Quark.” The look on Julian’s face made him hurriedly add, “It’s for the best though! You can do a lot better than Quark.”

Julian clenched the padd tightly. He knew if he said anything he’d blow up at O’Brien so instead he stormed off, ignoring the other man calling out his name.

——

Ever diligent, Odo was patrolling the promenade. Nothing was out of order so far. No one mucking things up for everyone else, no illegal goods being passed around, no noisy shenanigans blasting through the station. It was all calm.

The peace greatly unsettled Odo.

Also, and he’d never admit it, but it made him feel…off. Useless?

Nonsense! It was a sign he was doing his job extremely well.

Except that a nagging voice in the back of his head wouldn’t stop reminding him that he hand’t done anything.

Dr. Bashir had.

More specifically, Quark hadn’t done a thing, because Bashir had done…what?

Somehow the doctor and managed to keep Quark’s hands clean, a truly awe-inspiring feat.

Of course it was just as likely that one or both of them was simply able to keep their dirty deals very well hidden thus far.

Well, Odo was nothing if not persistent when it came to justice, and exposing Quark.

He headed to the bar, fully intent on cornering Quark and reminding him that Odo always kept an eye on him. Quark wasn’t at the counter, though.

Going over to Morn Odo inquired about the barkeep. The lurian motioned to the back, at a table as far from the Dabo players or other patrons as possible. Quark was there with Bashir. His hand was trailing up the latter’s arm while the doctor talked.

Odo  _hmph_ ’d. He caught Morn’s look and shot him a warning glare before striding over to the table. They didn’t notice him at first, too involved with each other. Curious, he listened in. 

“It’s not going to kill you to try.”

“It could! I don’t know what’s in these  _po-tay-toos_.”

Julian rolled his eyes. “Quark, don’t be such a child. And stop trying to distract me by doing that.”

“I’m doing nothing—“

“With your hands, and you know it. Tell you what, one bite and I’ll try one of your beetles in exchange. One that isn’t poisonous to humans.”

“Only two types are,” Quark assured in a way that wouldn’t assure anyone. He squinted distrustfully at the full fork for minute before reluctantly agreeing. “Fine. But just one bite.”

Beaming Julian brought the fork to Quark’s lips. Tentatively the ferengi bit down. His face scrunched up, but he swallowed it all down.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Quark made a sound very remiss of a disgruntled cat. Still he admitted, “I’ve had worse.”

The whole exchange made Odo self conscious and he didn’t know why. Nor did he have any desire to find out why. Instead he scoffed.

“Isn’t it customary for the females to chew the male’s food for them, Quark?”

Before the ferengi could respond a glob of potatoes was flying through the air. It landed squarely on Odo’s face. He and Quark both stared at Julian in shock.

“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite, dear,” the doctor said standing. “I need to get back to my patients, anyway.” He tossed Odo an almost challenging glare as he leaned down to peck Quark on the ear. “I’ll see you this evening. My quarters?”

Quark, speechless, could only nod.

Julian started to leave. He stalked past the still stunned Odo without a word.

When the doctor was out of sight Quark sighed in a way that caught Odo’s attention. He turned to the other man and saw a look in Quark’s eyes that made him deeply uncomfortable.

“Julian is one interesting hy-hoomen.” Quark glanced over at Odo and snickered. “You’re dripping on my clean floor.”

——

Sisko fixed Odo with an angry gaze, his jaw tight.

“I have tried very hard to stay out of this,” the captain started. “As long as it doesn’t interfere with my CMO doing his job then I don’t care who he’s seeing! Now, I can understand how it may be shocking to see Bashir kissing Quark—“ a vein twitched in his forehead at the mental image, “but frankly it is no one’s business but theirs.” Suddenly Sisko grinned. “Besides, it could do them both some good.”

Odo scoffed. “I hardly see how. And are we not going to discuss how the doctor assaulted me?”

Sisko shook his head at the constable’s indignation. “While maybe a bit childish, you deserved it.”

“Excuse me?”

“Odo, this might be hard for you to understand, being a changeling.” Odo stiffened and Sisko quickly continued. “Us solids aren’t like you. Some of us have a gender. Some of us don’t align with the gender we were assigned at birth.” Odo looked at him blankly. Sisko searched for the right words for a minute before setting on, “It’s called being trans, and it’s very insulting to misgender someone. If you want any more information go look it up yourself. Or ask Dax.”

Odo nodded. “Sir. I still don’t trust Quark.”

“That’s because you have sense,” Sisko mumbled to himself. “Dismissed, constable.”

When Odo was gone Sisko plopped down in his chair. He leaned back and chuckled quietly. Then he called up Dax.

“Benjamin! Having second thoughts about our poker game?”

“Not a chance, old man. I just want to see if you’re up for a friendly bet.”

Intrigued Dax replied, “Always. What do you have in mind?”

“How long before the most talked about couple ends up causing some ridiculous, off the wall chain of events. I give it another week.”

“Four days tops.”

There was a gleam in her eyes and Sisko warned, “No interfering, old man.”

“Benjamin, you know me better than that.”

“Exactly.”

——

Someone was sneaking where Garak had already snuck.

He would have known who it was even if the man’s silhouette wasn’t so telling. Garak straightened his tunic before stepping out of the shadows.

“Why, good evening, constable.”

The other man froze; for a brief moment Garak thought he might flee. Of course that would just further give him away, and Odo knew he was caught.

“Garak,” Odo greeted tersely as he turned around.

“My, my. You’re out at such a late hour, and I do believe this is nowhere near your quarters.”

“It’s not,” Odo admitted through gritted teeth.

Slinking closer to the other man Garak continued, “Indeed, it seems you’re outside the good doctor’s quarters.”

“So are you, Garak.”

He grinned. “So I am.”

“I don’t have time for your nonsense,” Odo groused, starting to walk off. Garak wondered how a man whose anatomy literally flowed to any shape imaginable managed to move so rigidly.

“Constable, if I could have just one more minute of your precious time. I do believe we could be of some help to each other.”

Garak allowed himself a quick smirk as the man stopped suddenly. Odo glanced over his shoulder.

“What are you getting at, Garak?”

“Why, the reason we’r both here! This… _relationship_  between Quark and Ju—Doctor Bashir. It’s quite worrisome, I’m sure you’ll agree.”

Odo faced him, eyes narrowed. Garak tried not to be offended at his distrust; it was just the constable’s way.

“I assure you I have no nefarious plans, simply a hope for an…allegiance. Pooling our resources I’m sure we’d be able to better keep tabs on Quark.”

“And the doctor?”  
  
“Of course.”

Cardassian smiles had always been alarming to Odo, but Garak’s was doubly so. Still, the man was tempted. And if Garak could help him get to the bottom of whatever Quark and Bashir were doing, well then he’d be a fool not to side with him. Temporarily. There was also the added bonus of knowing what Garak was up to.

“What do you have in mind, Garak?”

They went back to Garak’s shop. A nice place for privacy, Garak told him. Odo rolled his eyes but said nothing as he was led to the back room.

Garak brought up a small screen hidden inside his desk. Odo gave him a questioning look which the cardassian unsurprisingly ignored.

It didn’t much matter; the contents of the screen were vastly more interesting.

Bashir’s laughter filled the little room. He was sprawled out on a couch, padd in hands, while Quark was walking around behind him.

“Quark, this is unbearable! Is this really your favorite?”

“It’s a masterpiece, Julian. You humans simply have no taste for the finer debaucheries.”

“‘Kuez slowly reached towards the other man and pulled him flush against his half-clothed body. He had never let anyone see him in this state of undress, shirt off and member pulsating as though begging him for touch.’”

Having come up behind Julian, Quark leaned over to peer at the padd. “Mm, this is my favorite part. Don’t stop now.”

Julian giggled as Quark started kissing the back of his neck and continued reading.

“‘Pyel’s hands roamed his torso, sending shivers straight to Kuez’s ears. They were business partners! To touch each other like this, to fall into each other’s embrace, to throw away the rules of acquisition like this… What kind of ferengi was he?’”

Quark was running his fingers through Julian’s hair now, the other hand ghosting over the human’s chest. 

“Mm, Quark,” Julian moaned. “This book has gotten surprisingly romantic.”

“I told you this was a classic.”

Julian let out a breathy laugh, eyes fluttering shut. Quark kissed his way up to Julian’s ear where he whispered something that the men watching in couldn’t hear.

They made an educated guess on what was discussed, based on context clues. Like Quark stripping the uniform off of the doctor, or Julian pulling the ferengi on top of him.

Garak shut off the feed. The room became insufferably quiet.

“Well,” Garak finally said after a painfully long moment, not meeting Odo’s eyes. “Now we know my little camera is working.”

Odo just wanted to go to his own quarters and melt into his bucket.

**Author's Note:**

> You’d never think that I want to be an actual author. I’d say I’m better than this, but I wrote and posted it, so obviously I’m not. @ds9shameblog and @boldlysinning, ready for part 3–the part that features ferengi erotica? Too bad, because here it is.


End file.
